Get the grease hot, Momma!

Alternate Title:
This is the shit that drives PETA crazy


Anyone that watches Ted Nugent's outdoor show "Spirit of the Wild" has probably seen Uncle Ted hold up one of these....
(click it to big it)

..and say "Look at this, boys and girls! Where have we seen this before?"
Nothing like a crimson-coated arrow to make a country boy's day!


For the past few weeks, I've been playing "cat and mouse" or "hunter and hunted" or "man vs. wild" or whatever you want to call it against one of the smartest, most elusive and most adaptive animals that God has ever put a breath in.

Every time I'd hunt a particular set-up, I'd see deer using a different trail than the one I was hoping expecting them to use. The third time this happened, I decided to move the set-up closer to the trail that had obviously become the main travel route through the area. The set-up was in a "less-than-perfect" location but it was the only choice I had based on the prevailing wind conditions for this area of the country. Did I mention that deer have a remarkable sense of smell? They can detect and process up to 8 different scents, simultaneously. See? Remarkable.
Well last Saturday I sat in the new set-up for the first time. I had a doe and fawn come out and feed around for about 20 minutes but I don't shoot does if they have a fawn with them. Now a single doe traveling alone or even a group of does with a couple of fawns in the bunch? If I can tell which does the fawns belong to, the other(s) just got put on the short list for a free ride to town in the back of my truck. Sunday morning was uneventful with nothing but a bunch of turkeys scratching around my stand making a lot of racket. With Thanksgiving being so close, I must admit I was tempted to shoot one (Mmmm..smoked turkey breast), but it's not open season for turkeys. 'Nuff said.
This past Saturday morning, I went back to this particular set-up mainly because it was closest to the truck and I was expecting some friends to meet me around 9AM to work on clearing out a road around the other side of the property. The fact that it had been showing promise as a productive stand location helped a little.
About 8:30, I was about to pack it up and climb down and decided to send a text to a hunting buddy to see if he was having any luck when I heard a noise underneath my stand. I looked down to see a deer munching away on acorns right underneath my stand. I still don't know how something 3' high, with 4 feet and weighing 130 lbs can walk to within 8' of me undetected but he did it. And now I'm totally caught off-guard with my bow still on the hanger and my body turned almost 180 degrees from the way I should be turned to shoot. I sent him a text "Deer right under me!" and set my phone to "Silent" instead of "Vibrate" and dropped it in my pocket. I slowly started reaching for my bow. My body blocked the movement from the view of the deer well enough that I could get the bow off the hanger and my release clipped to the string. All I have to do now is turn halfway around and draw my bow without him seeing me. In plain sight. From 8' away.
I was hoping he'd feed on out to the other tree in front of me and give me a chance to at least attempt to draw. And it looked like this was about to happen as he moved on underneath me and started walking out in front of me, but another deer walked out to take his place right under the tree, 8' away and still in plain sight. As the second deer moved underneath me, he passed under some vines and limbs that partially obscured his view. The first deer had his head down, looking straight away from me so it was now or never to get the bow drawn. It all went perfectly. Except for the third deer, that I never saw, walking out just as I was drawing. It saw me (I assume) and ran back through the woods, spooking the second deer enough that he decided he would walk back the way he came instead of out in the open with the first one. The first deer never gave a second look towards whatever the other two were alarmed about, but instead kept right on eating acorns. I waited for him to turn broadside but he never would. He turned just enough to the side that I could slide the arrow just by the left hipbone, angling down and forward through his chest, clipping the far lung and heart, then exiting just to the right of his breastbone. He jumped and kicked his rear legs so high and hard, I thought he was going to turn a front somersault. (A high hind leg kick is pretty consistent with most heart shots) He ran across the clearing and into the thick cover in front of me. I could see a pretty substantial spray of blood right where he had been standing, further confirming my suspicions of a good heart shot. I waited for a few minutes and sent my buddy another text. "Heart shot @ 18 yds. Brown Down."
I packed up my gear and climbed down to check my arrow and the blood trail. It all looked very promising so I just went back to the truck, took off my ScentBlocker suit and unloaded the UTV. I rode back down to the stand site and started trailing the deer. He only ran about 40 yards before piling up. A short drag and a short ride back to the truck and we were on our way home. I called my friends that were coming to help with the road and told them I'd be back in a couple of hours. I got him all cut up and iced down and headed back to help them finish the road. I got the meat processed and put up later that night.

Backstraps, anyone?


For those that enjoy a good deer hunting story that ends in a harvest click here

For those of you opposed to the hunting lifestyle and believe it to be cruel and inhumane, click here

Gun Season opens Saturday! Be prepared for another post soon!!!

I can't believe she's still single!!

I can't believe someone hasn't snatched up this prize!!

Prepare to laugh and then click HERE.

Makes ya wanna just run right out out by a mask. Don't it?

Old Butch

John was in the fertilized egg business.


He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,'

and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


He kept records, and any rooster not performing

went into the soup pot and was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells

and attached them to his roosters.


Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,

which rooster was performing.


Now, he could sit on the porch And fill out an efficiency report

by just listening to the bells.


John's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen,

but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!


When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets,

bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.


To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.


He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair

and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.


The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize

but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.

Who else but a politician could figure out

how to win two of the most highly coveted awards

on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace

and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?



Vote carefully next year, for the bells are not always audible.



"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office."
- Aesop

Tick. Tock.

It's like Christmas Eve at my house!!

Bowseason opens on Thursday here in the Heart o'
Dixie.

Although it'll be Friday before I can actually go hunting...I'm still pretty damn stoked that it's finally my time of the year.


I did manage to get to the woods this past weekend and hang 3 different stand sets. I have a pretty good feeling about 2 of them and the third one is looking like it's gonna be a slaughter hole. There's TONS of deer sign all around the stand and the acorns are falling to the point of my contemplating investing in a hardhat to wear while hunting. I may be getting ahead of myself but I'd almost be willing to bet on at least a shot opportunity Friday morning.

Wet, damp weather in the forecast through Thursday night with a cold front pushing through in the wee hours of Friday morning. Lows in the 40's and highs in the 60's. Folks, you can't dial up the most important people you know and BUY weather this good for an opening day. Did I mention that I'm stoked?

I got all my gear out last night and did a final check-off on everything.

And I:

• waxed my bowstring
• swapped out blades on three broadheads I've been practicing with
• washed and dried my ScentBlocker suit (according to the manufacturer's directions, of course)
• did a trial fit and adjustments for a new bowsling that I bought
• inspected my safety harness/fall-restraint and made sure everything was good to go
• For the first time ever, I assembled a first-aid kit, complete with snakebite kit, and put it in my backpack. The snakes are crawling more than usual this year. A LOT more. I'm not gonna say I'm older and wiser or getting older makes you think about things differently but...as the old saying goes..."Better prepared beats hindsight anyday."
• found my "good" release that's been missing since last November. It's about worn out but it's still my favorite one. It just feels good in my hand (I can't wait for the remarks on that sentence). But as much as I like it, this will probably be it's last year. I've got a spare but it's just that, a spare, to be used in case of emergencies. It works fine and could save a hunt if I lost my good one or it broke at a bad time. I had to use it for practice over the past few weeks but I don't really like it. Plus, I've been wanting a new one for a couple of years so I'll probably go ahead and retire it around February. Can you say "END OF SEASON MARKDOWNS"?
• Put some more silicone gloves in my field-dressing/cleaning kit and sharpened both knives in the kit.

I think I'm all set to go. Wish me luck!!!

*Or if you're a tree-hugging, ill-informed, ignorant, obnoxious, tofu-eating animal rights militant softie, you may choose to wish the deer luck. Trust me...They'll need it a lot more than I do. ;)

A little something from the mailbag, just to let my 3 readers know I'm still up and about. Actually, one of them knows that by way of other means but you get the point.
***************************************************
While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, 'Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?'

'I'm listening to the music of the tree,' the other man replied.
'You've gotta be kiddin' me.'

'No, would you like to give it a try?'

Understandably curious, the man says, 'Well, OK...' So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked,
'What the heck happened to you?'

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, 'This just ain't turning out to be your day, cupcake...'

***********************************

Now that's just wrong!

Bowseason starts in 6 days! Too bad I haven't had time to do any scouting and hanging stands yet. It'll be alright though. I have a spot that has produced consistently as long as the acorns are falling, and in case you were wondering...it's RAINING acorns this year. We'll see if the streak continues. I'll keep you posted.

Cold & Hot HNT

A Girl Scouts Thin Mint Blizzard from Dairy Queen in the cupholder and keeping up with my BBB (Best Blogging Buddy) on my BlackBerry.



Could my afternoon get any better?

Go see Os for more hot (and cool) HNT action.


BONUS: It's officially BOOBIE SEASON!!!!

These are a few of my favorite things...

I'll have to agree with him on all but a few of these.

Namely...the laptop and cellphone usage. I do use those for a little more than buying old cars. ;)